"Any road will take you there"

I had a very exciting day yesterday. I spent all day at orientation at a local University. I am going back to school to get a degree in music. More specifically music education.
A lot has been going on in my life lately, and I finally decided to pursue the dream I have had since I was a kid. Of course back then I wanted to be a rock star, but the point is I love music and I want to be involved somehow. If I can get other people to appreciate music as much as I do, I will have made that difference in the world I always thought I would make.
Why shouldn't I pursue my dream? I will only be here for so long, and hopefully am not coming back, so now is the time.
There is a long hard road in front of me and I would be lying if I said I was not a little scared. This is my dream. I will live it.

Rock Lobster

I have been very busy as of late. I feel like I should have something to post to remain a part of the blogging community. I will talk about why I am so busy when I find some time, not being so busy. So here is another silly post. Enjoy.


The other day I spotted.....


...the very rare and deadly one-eyed lobster.


This cranky crustacean is usually found sulking in the bottom of large bodies of water, not in living rooms. However without the added drag of water to slow the angry arthropod down, it is very agile and likes to sneak up on it's victims.


One-eyed lobsters are very patient, waiting for the exact moment to pounce.


The malignant Malacostraca leaps into the air, trying to clamp on to the carotid artery and use a pair of large pointy flappers to inject a lethal dose of poison- which oddly enough consists of two parts butter and one part garlic paste.


Thankfully the deadly lobster has missed it's mark and been swatted away.


The proper way to clutch the deadly lobster is right behind the large pincher, so that it does not give you an owie.


Then neutralize the lobster by blinding it. Once it cannot see, you can taunt it all you wish. Just make sure to keep moving in circles. Lobsters have a very acute sense of hearing, a fragile psyche and are extremely sensitive to verbal abuse. They will sulk for hours when properly browbeaten, thus giving the would be victim ample time to scuttle away.


Hey wait a minute this was a regular lobster all along! No need to worry! I'll just go put a pot on to boil.

"I'm fixing a hole...." or "I'm a back door man"

I installed a new back door this weekend. The job was not as hard as I thought. I simply spent five hours tearing out the old door frame being very careful not to disturb anything. Then I spent another three and a half hours installing the new door. It turned out pretty good, though, like me, it's not perfect. You have to lift up on the handle before you close the door. To lock the door you have to wedge a piece of shim into the latch side, jimmy that over until it touches the lock, than lift the door up a quarter inch and wiggle it until it latches. To open the door you have to go out the front door walk around the house and hold the door steady. Meanwhile have somebody pop out the hinge pins and gently remove the door. Not a big deal.


Old Door from inside.


Rough opening.

Old door from outside.


New Door from outside.


New door and a big mess.


As you can see the brand new door looks great. I still have to finish the trim work and tweak the dead bolt a little, but other than those two tasks I am done.

Now Pixie, G-man and I can feel safe knowing that a crooked door is protecting us from the bad guys.

"Five foot two"

I think I have figured out how to put my sound files on Blogger. I recorded this song using a soprano ukelele and my iMac microphone. I mixed the song in Garage Band where I added just a few effects to get the "singing in a can effect". From there I had Pixie help me make a slide show and convert it to a movie with my song added, then uploaded that into Blogger. It's not perfect but it's a start. The song is called "Five foot two" and was written by Ray Henderson, Sam lewis and Joe Young. Enjoy!

"What is the ugliest part of your body?"

"What is the ugliest part of your body?
What is the ugliest part of your body?
Some say it's your nose, some say it's your toes
I think it's your mind." FZ

I think the ugliest part of my body is my feet. Followed closely by my knees and my teeth.

I made a pencil sketch of how I appear when I look in a mirror.




Not pretty is it?


What is the ugliest part of your body?


I bet it's your mind.

"NA na na na na na, you say it's your birthday."

Today is my son's first birthday. I cannot believe that he is one year old today. Just yesterday Pixie and I were pacing around the house waiting for the hospital to call and let us know we could come in and start the process. I don't think I ever smoked so much or slept so little. Just yesterday I was pacing the hospital floor drinking coffee, reassuring Pixie, massaging, talking, doing whatever I could for her, and trying not to fall asleep on my feet as Pixie rocked through nineteen plus hours of labor before she finally agreed on taking the epidural and having labor induced (you stubborn little shit G-man). Just yesterday I saw my wife laying on the operating table splayed open like a fish and twitching uncontrollably; my son being pulled from the womb; my eyes teary with a love I had never known. Just yesterday we stayed awake all night—too afraid to sleep— holding each other and staring at our beautiful son.
I can't believe it has been a year already. So much has happened in the past 365 days. Far too much to recap all in one post. All I can say is that being a father has changed my life; I am a better man because of you G-man. Thank you.
I could say that I can't wait to watch you grow up, but I can. I don't want you to grow up too fast. I want to be selfish and have you stay my little buddy forever. I know that won't happen, though you'll always be my little buddy. I love you so much. Happy birthday sweetie.

Working class hero

Today was the first day of my new job. Not exactly what I envisioned it being— no naked women serving free beer— but I think it will be a good thing for me. Coming from my old job, this place is a complete 180.

For starters, everything is accounted for, organized and put in its proper location. We are talking cages for hand tools, cages for chemicals, bays for trucks, sheds for misc. equipment and so on. Sign-in sheets for all equipment. Think of that really anal guy with the peg board in his garage, every tool outlined in white paint....that's this company.
At my old job we just threw whatever tool we were using nearby and tried to remembered where it was for the next time. Our equipment had a bay, but it was every item for itself; things stacked on top of things—chaos.

At my new job there is an electronic time clock. Everyone gets a magnetic card (like a credit card) with your name and employee I.D number on the back. You have to swipe the card through what looks like a credit card machine to clock in and out; precise time stamps down to the minute.
At my old job the time sheet was a piece of paper with a basic grid; the employee had to write their name in one box, the time in and out (rounded to the nearest quarter-hour) went in another box and then total their own hours at the end of the week which went in the final box.

The new company is taking the time to train us on not only proper techniques in what we do, but why it is done that way and the particular effects of both properly and improperly executing that particular service. Time spent on a job is less important than doing the job properly.
At my old job it was: "hurry the f@%$ up so we can get to the next job and make the money."

The new company offers: benefits, 401(k), annual bonus incentives, full uniforms, paid training, continuing education reimbursements, and travel expenses (when applicable).
At my old job, after eight plus years of dedicated employment I finally got a credit card for business expenses. There was also a summer bonus, Christmas bonus and miscellaneous small cash bonuses on certain cash only jobs. I will miss my old company for that reason.

The new company is 3.3 miles from my house. I will spend an average of $4.50 on gasoline (at current prices) traveling to and from work every week.
My old job was 17 miles away. I would spend an average of $23 dollars on gasoline (at current prices) a week going to and from work.

At the new company I am already a crew leader. I don't even know if anyone else works in this division; my name is the only one listed.
At my old job I was one of the only employees besides the owners. We did most jobs together.

These are just a few of the many contrasts between old and new. It's quite a shock for me. I feel like the dumb country mouse going to the big city.
I was telling Pixie that every gripe about poor planning or good idea I ever had about how to improve my last job has floated through time and space and morphed into this well-oiled machine of lawn care and landscape management.

I just have to talk to them about their beer and babe deficiency.