Breathe, Breathe in the air...

It is 6:27 a.m. I have been awake for a half an hour and already have the urge to smoke a cigarette. This urge will continue to plague me all day, constantly in the back of my thoughts. Taunting me with sweet puffs of over five hundred chemicals, most of which cause some disease or ailment. I will be able to hold out until around five o’clock (I hope) and then after that another few hours. This has been going on for twenty-six weeks, or for those interested and informed about as long as the Wee-one has been in my life.
Before he was born I new I would quit. I still have not, but I have greatly reduced the amount I smoke, going from at least a pack a day to at the most five cigarettes a day. Most days I only have one or two, but some days are more trying then others. Everyday I struggle with this demon; rolling and tumbling down the hallway of addiction. It is not that easy.
I refuse to take any kind of drug, patch or gum to aid in my overcoming nicotine. Mostly because I don't have health insurance and that stuff costs a lot of money. But also because in an age where doctors have a pill for every conceivable ailment, addiction and problem I like to thumb my nose at them and at least prove to myself that nobody needs all those drugs to feel better. I will do this on my own, at my pace and with nothing more then my will power. Which is why twenty-six weeks into my “reduced smoking plan” I am still at five or less a day but unable to take (or unwilling) that final step and quit the habit I formed many, many years ago. I have gone a day here and there without smoking, but can't get over that last speed bump.
Every time I feel the urge to have a smoke I take a series of deep breaths and tell myself all the horrible things I am doing to my body when smoking, and all the positive outcomes of quitting. Not to mention my son won’t know I smoked and therefore being in a family that doesn’t smoke will not when he grows up.
The hardest time for me is in the morning with my coffee, while having a beer and while I’m awake. Other than that it is not so bad. It is easiest for me when I am around Pixie and G-man.
One of these days I will quit. Until then I will continue to breathe deeply.

The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers

“Dope will get you through times of no money better then money will get you through times of no dope.”
—Free Wheelin' Franklin

Ah, the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers.

When I was younger I used to love reading those raunchy, not-for-kids comic strips about three "brothers" out to score a buzz without getting burned. Every Thanksgiving My mother would open her secret vault of naughty comics and allow my brother, sister and I to read the mishaps of these anti-hero's.
Franklin with his no-nonsense approach to catching a buzz, always ordering the other two to secure him some dope.
Fat Freddy, oh Fat Freddy you hapless moron. You are going to indulge yourself to death.
Phineas, the brains of the operation. I remember he rigged a car to become remote controlled. He and Free Wheelin' Franklin stood on the roof top of their apartment building and watched the fuzz chase the car all over the city. Those crazy hippies.

Such fond memories of my childhood.

It now seems that Fab Bros. creator Gilbert Sheldon is putting together a movie called "Grass Roots". The movie will be stop motion with little rubber characters. I can't wait to see this. I will pay the outrageous $9.75 for my ticket, then run around the back of the theatre and let in Pixie. That is saying a lot, since I absolutely refuse to fall victim to Hollywood's black hole movie industry and their crazy belief that I would actually pay that kind of money to see the vomit they try and pass off as entertainment. Maybe I'll just wait for it to come out on DVD, like everything else. Hey at least then I can enjoy the movie in the comfort of my own home.

So check out Sheldon's site and discover the Freakiness today.

Update:I in no way condone the use of illicit drugs, stop animation, or Thanksgiving. This was simply a funny comic strip that I thought was cool. Stay in school and don't do drugs kids.

A lazy friday with my Family

Friday, Holly, G-man and I took a trip to Maumee Bay State Park in Oregon Ohio. We had a blast! Rather than just tell you all about our adventure, I decided to use pictures. Don't worry I threw in some captions for all the Brainiacs out there who have to read.

It was late when I posted this and Holly was asleep. Some of the pictures are sideways and I don't know how to rotate them, so if you don't mind rotating your screens counter-clockwise...Thank you.

Gideon, are you ready for a nap?


I am just kidding. We are going to the park!


I love the park Dad!


Okay, are Mom and Gideon ready?


I have always been an intrepid explorer. Just look at the hat!


Ah, look at the trash that inconsiderate patrons leave on the ground.


Oh, look Gideon, an observation tower. Let's go climb it and observe the view.


It seems so far away.


WOW! How did mom get here so fast?




At this point there was a slight run in with a swarm of Bee's, or Wasp's or some type of flying insect with a stinger and an attitude.
When I say run-in, I mean runaway. As in me hot-footing it the hell out of there. Eventually we were fine. I just had to apologize for pushing Gideon at the killer Bee's in order to save myself.



Oh, what do you see Gideon?


A caterpillar.


Now what do you see?


A deer.


Oh, look, a snake. Do you see it?


What is that?


Nice, probably from the girlfriend of the douche that was drinking in the forest.


Here we are in the Nature Building. Who can spot the owl?


Hey Gideon, I wonder how they got all these neat bird's in one place.


Oh well, let's go to the beach.


Aww, Gideon and Mommy. Aren't they cute.


Gideon loves the water!


We splashed the water then...


...we went back to our "tent" to relax before the drive home.


I love being a Dad.

Lend a helping hand

Before this week I had never heard of Lenticular Clouds, but they are quite fascinating. They seem to take unusual round and ribbon shapes. What a spectacular sight to behold—but how are these beautiful dihydrogen monoxide masses formed? What sets them apart from other clouds? Do we have to hate and fear them because they are different? I did a little research and the results were astounding:

• They are almost always found in the sky.

• Occasionally they can be seen at the Kewadin Casinos —where the serenity of nature and the materialistic deviance of Las Vegas elope.

• They have poor eyesight, but excellent hearing. However, they are horrible listeners.

• They startle easily and can be quite aggressive when threatened.

• They migrate thousands of miles each year to mate. After hours of grueling ankle grabbing they cry in the shower and then make the long trek back to their place of birth to lay their eggs.

• They get their majestic shapes and colors from jello molds and food coloring.

Unfortunately these magnificent freaks of suspended vapor are being threatened. It seems that the abundance of cell phone towers throughout the free world has caused the clouds to lose their sense of direction. The clouds have become torpid. They feel they have nothing to left to offer society. But with the help of good people in the Blogging community, not unlike yourself, we can fight to end their suffering and get them the necessary help they so deserve. Please do your part. Visit this site for more information on what you can do to help. Thank you.

I hope you all learned as much as I did. See you tomorrow boys and girls.

Random thought of the day

How many times have you heard the expression, “Your a load that should have been swallowed”?

I hear that all the time.

The person usually saying it is me. I usually say it to random fucktards on the road who have the uncanny ability to be both inconsiderate drivers and mindless asshats simultaneously.

My brother's friend used to say this sometimes. He was a wise man.

The birthing of a blog

Tuesday, September Eleventh.

The day I lived the dream.

For years I have worked at a job that I cannot stand just to be able to provide for my wife, our life and most important myself. Since the introduction of the Wee-one I have worked even harder to earn and save for items that we need and to have extra scratch just in case of emergencies. I am no slouch when it comes to hard work. I went to school on nights and weekends part-time for years in hopes that one-day I would be able to leave my menial labor job behind and move on to bigger and better things. Make a difference in the world (at least mine anyway—the rest of you are on your own); live out my dream of being an artist, a writer, a lyricist, a guitar player, and a published author. You know, become lazy. These are activities I love to do, but somehow, somewhere along the line I became ensnared in the hustle and bustle of everyday living, lost sight of my dreams and turned my attention towards just plain living for that paycheck. To put it lightly I am miserable. I dread going to work so much that recently I have become depressed and lost both physical and mental energy. In fact I no longer seem to find pleasure in giving Pixie Dutch Ovens— Honey, I'm just going through the motions.
So I know what you are thinking. Why don’t you get a different job? Do what you want to do and relax for a while. The problem is I need the money to sustain our extravagant lifestyle: the order-in pizzas, the Busch beer, the Kroger brand food products. And trying to find time to jump into the game of job searching is more than a little difficult, though I am attempting the arduous task with as much enthusiasm as I can muster—especially in light of recent developments at work.
So today I called in sick and spent the entire morning, afternoon and evening living the dream; spending time with my son.
Hell I even got a minute amount of writing and resume building accomplished. How can I go back to work now? This is what I want to do with my life. Have my sugar momma pay the bills whilst I watch our son and be creative.

Saturday, September 15
I had a very trying day Friday, which ended in me telling my boss that I was done with his shit and his company. All week it seemed that if something could go wrong it did; equipment was faltering and breaking, we got pulled over twice (and by the grace of God that D.O.T Comm Vehicle Inspection cop had a sense of humor), tensions were flaring, and innocent kitten lives were being lost (a long story and one I am still too sore to talk about. Why Mr. Boots? Why!). Not to mention the litany of usual mishaps and embarrassments that plague that company on a diurnal basis.
I got home and had a slight nervous breakdown, tipped a beer for Mr. Boots and began to think about my future.

Sunday, September 16
Sunday evening and I am still not sure what I want to do with my current job or my life. I know I want to write and I know I do not want to go back to work tomorrow, but other than that I have no idea.

Monday, September 17
Stayed home from work and started writing my resume. Got side tracked into reading Blogs.
Decided I wanted to start a Blog in order to have a creative outlet. Finished Resume work, straightened up the house and played Ukulele until Gideon got home.

Tuesday, September 18
Worked on Resume more. Gathered portfolio materials into a cohesive structure. God this is a lot of fricking work, I want to go back to my menial labor job. Had a beer, uh I mean creative juice. Had my second cigarette for the day. Sat down in the office chair. Cracked my knuckles. Stared at the screen for thirty minutes. Wiped the drool off the desktop before it left a stain. I watched Mr. Fabulous’ Vblog and spit beer out of my nose. Where does this guy get his material? Maybe he will write my Blog. After G-man went to sleep I spent three hours picking colors for my side bar and heading. Blogging is so cool.

Wednesday, September 19
I have been at this computer screen for approximately 43 games of Orbitz 8-ball trying to decide what my first post will be about.