Where’s the mechanically separated beef?

Topps Meats Co. is closing its doors after faithfully serving the New Jersey area for 67 years and supplying its delicious hamburgers nationwide. The reason? 21.7 million pounds of its frozen hamburgers have been linked to strain of E. Coli O157:H7, a potentially deadly bacteria that causes among other things bloody diarrhea (I have been told that it looks and sounds like a half empty bottle of ketchup being squeezed).
The company slaughters cows and forms patties, which are then frozen and shipped to barbeques all around the nation. Maybe I have watched to many Soprano’s episodes, but I ate a Topp’s burger one time and it was really greasy and tasted like Cadillac’s and pinky rings. I’m just saying. Maybe the USDA should have inspected this “meat processing” facility years ago. Perhaps there is a reason—large envelope full of money—that they didn’t, oh well, I am sure there was ten’s of thousands of good reasons.

So before you cook up those last minute autumn burgers on the grill do yourself a favor; inspect the package, then call an attorney.

Also, I would like to extend my condolences to the D’Urso family for having to shut down your factory—fahgettaboutit! I have an envelope for you.