Rock Lobster

I have been very busy as of late. I feel like I should have something to post to remain a part of the blogging community. I will talk about why I am so busy when I find some time, not being so busy. So here is another silly post. Enjoy.


The other day I spotted.....


...the very rare and deadly one-eyed lobster.


This cranky crustacean is usually found sulking in the bottom of large bodies of water, not in living rooms. However without the added drag of water to slow the angry arthropod down, it is very agile and likes to sneak up on it's victims.


One-eyed lobsters are very patient, waiting for the exact moment to pounce.


The malignant Malacostraca leaps into the air, trying to clamp on to the carotid artery and use a pair of large pointy flappers to inject a lethal dose of poison- which oddly enough consists of two parts butter and one part garlic paste.


Thankfully the deadly lobster has missed it's mark and been swatted away.


The proper way to clutch the deadly lobster is right behind the large pincher, so that it does not give you an owie.


Then neutralize the lobster by blinding it. Once it cannot see, you can taunt it all you wish. Just make sure to keep moving in circles. Lobsters have a very acute sense of hearing, a fragile psyche and are extremely sensitive to verbal abuse. They will sulk for hours when properly browbeaten, thus giving the would be victim ample time to scuttle away.


Hey wait a minute this was a regular lobster all along! No need to worry! I'll just go put a pot on to boil.

"I'm fixing a hole...." or "I'm a back door man"

I installed a new back door this weekend. The job was not as hard as I thought. I simply spent five hours tearing out the old door frame being very careful not to disturb anything. Then I spent another three and a half hours installing the new door. It turned out pretty good, though, like me, it's not perfect. You have to lift up on the handle before you close the door. To lock the door you have to wedge a piece of shim into the latch side, jimmy that over until it touches the lock, than lift the door up a quarter inch and wiggle it until it latches. To open the door you have to go out the front door walk around the house and hold the door steady. Meanwhile have somebody pop out the hinge pins and gently remove the door. Not a big deal.


Old Door from inside.


Rough opening.

Old door from outside.


New Door from outside.


New door and a big mess.


As you can see the brand new door looks great. I still have to finish the trim work and tweak the dead bolt a little, but other than those two tasks I am done.

Now Pixie, G-man and I can feel safe knowing that a crooked door is protecting us from the bad guys.

"Five foot two"

I think I have figured out how to put my sound files on Blogger. I recorded this song using a soprano ukelele and my iMac microphone. I mixed the song in Garage Band where I added just a few effects to get the "singing in a can effect". From there I had Pixie help me make a slide show and convert it to a movie with my song added, then uploaded that into Blogger. It's not perfect but it's a start. The song is called "Five foot two" and was written by Ray Henderson, Sam lewis and Joe Young. Enjoy!

"What is the ugliest part of your body?"

"What is the ugliest part of your body?
What is the ugliest part of your body?
Some say it's your nose, some say it's your toes
I think it's your mind." FZ

I think the ugliest part of my body is my feet. Followed closely by my knees and my teeth.

I made a pencil sketch of how I appear when I look in a mirror.




Not pretty is it?


What is the ugliest part of your body?


I bet it's your mind.