Rock Lobster

I have been very busy as of late. I feel like I should have something to post to remain a part of the blogging community. I will talk about why I am so busy when I find some time, not being so busy. So here is another silly post. Enjoy.


The other day I spotted.....


...the very rare and deadly one-eyed lobster.


This cranky crustacean is usually found sulking in the bottom of large bodies of water, not in living rooms. However without the added drag of water to slow the angry arthropod down, it is very agile and likes to sneak up on it's victims.


One-eyed lobsters are very patient, waiting for the exact moment to pounce.


The malignant Malacostraca leaps into the air, trying to clamp on to the carotid artery and use a pair of large pointy flappers to inject a lethal dose of poison- which oddly enough consists of two parts butter and one part garlic paste.


Thankfully the deadly lobster has missed it's mark and been swatted away.


The proper way to clutch the deadly lobster is right behind the large pincher, so that it does not give you an owie.


Then neutralize the lobster by blinding it. Once it cannot see, you can taunt it all you wish. Just make sure to keep moving in circles. Lobsters have a very acute sense of hearing, a fragile psyche and are extremely sensitive to verbal abuse. They will sulk for hours when properly browbeaten, thus giving the would be victim ample time to scuttle away.


Hey wait a minute this was a regular lobster all along! No need to worry! I'll just go put a pot on to boil.