Saturday, October 6, 2007

Where’s the mechanically separated beef?

Topps Meats Co. is closing its doors after faithfully serving the New Jersey area for 67 years and supplying its delicious hamburgers nationwide. The reason? 21.7 million pounds of its frozen hamburgers have been linked to strain of E. Coli O157:H7, a potentially deadly bacteria that causes among other things bloody diarrhea (I have been told that it looks and sounds like a half empty bottle of ketchup being squeezed).
The company slaughters cows and forms patties, which are then frozen and shipped to barbeques all around the nation. Maybe I have watched to many Soprano’s episodes, but I ate a Topp’s burger one time and it was really greasy and tasted like Cadillac’s and pinky rings. I’m just saying. Maybe the USDA should have inspected this “meat processing” facility years ago. Perhaps there is a reason—large envelope full of money—that they didn’t, oh well, I am sure there was ten’s of thousands of good reasons.

So before you cook up those last minute autumn burgers on the grill do yourself a favor; inspect the package, then call an attorney.

Also, I would like to extend my condolences to the D’Urso family for having to shut down your factory—fahgettaboutit! I have an envelope for you.

10 comments:

Fantastagirl said...

It's amazing what money can buy - isn't it?

JQ said...

Tell me about it. I hired somebody to respond to your comment. :)

Anonymous said...

LOL! Witty post, this one! I'd never even heard of the company, until it was reported on the news here. I've spent all week wondering where on earth that co. was, if it was here, etc... as you can see, I don't pay attention when the news is on.

At any rate, I don't eat out much, don't usually order burgers when I have a chance to eat out, and only buy meat from the grocery store counter.

JQ said...

Pixie and I don't buy a lot of red meat anymore. Well not since last week when I started getting stomach cramps and bloody stool.

Anonymous said...

I want some, just so I can use it to get back at my enemies. "Here, buddy, have a burger..."

My wife and I buy hardly any red meat, and could easily go veggie, if chicken and fish weren't so tasty. We're like "Poultratarians," or "Pescatarians," or a combo of the two. I don't really enjoy steak (I know, kill me). It's just a big hunk of bloody meat on my plate. Not my bag. However, a good burger and some bacon is always welcome in my belly, too. Just not a "bloody poo" burger.

Lynda said...

I am not a big fan of red meat anymore, and reading stories like this makes me almost want to go veggie. Then something always changes my mind.

*sniff, sniff* Do I smell bacon?

JQ said...

Think Frustrated— Mmmmmm...big hunk of bloody meat.

Lynda— I pink puffy cholesterol laden, disease ridden heart bacon.

I don't think I could ever give up meat. Although, I would give up every other type of meat if I could eat Bacon forever.
Any kind of bacon would suffice; cow, pig, deer, ostrich, giraffe, dwarf. Bacon good.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, except turkey bacon tastes like those Beggin Strips you give your dog. (I have eaten both, so I have a basis for comparison.)

Holly {ArtistMotherTeacher} said...

Dwarf bacon? How much does that run a pound?

JQ said...

The price is very small.