Today was the first day of my new job. Not exactly what I envisioned it being— no naked women serving free beer— but I think it will be a good thing for me. Coming from my old job, this place is a complete 180.
For starters, everything is accounted for, organized and put in its proper location. We are talking cages for hand tools, cages for chemicals, bays for trucks, sheds for misc. equipment and so on. Sign-in sheets for all equipment. Think of that really anal guy with the peg board in his garage, every tool outlined in white paint....that's this company.
At my old job we just threw whatever tool we were using nearby and tried to remembered where it was for the next time. Our equipment had a bay, but it was every item for itself; things stacked on top of things—chaos.
At my new job there is an electronic time clock. Everyone gets a magnetic card (like a credit card) with your name and employee I.D number on the back. You have to swipe the card through what looks like a credit card machine to clock in and out; precise time stamps down to the minute.
At my old job the time sheet was a piece of paper with a basic grid; the employee had to write their name in one box, the time in and out (rounded to the nearest quarter-hour) went in another box and then total their own hours at the end of the week which went in the final box.
The new company is taking the time to train us on not only proper techniques in what we do, but why it is done that way and the particular effects of both properly and improperly executing that particular service. Time spent on a job is less important than doing the job properly.
At my old job it was: "hurry the f@%$ up so we can get to the next job and make the money."
The new company offers: benefits, 401(k), annual bonus incentives, full uniforms, paid training, continuing education reimbursements, and travel expenses (when applicable).
At my old job, after eight plus years of dedicated employment I finally got a credit card for business expenses. There was also a summer bonus, Christmas bonus and miscellaneous small cash bonuses on certain cash only jobs. I will miss my old company for that reason.
The new company is 3.3 miles from my house. I will spend an average of $4.50 on gasoline (at current prices) traveling to and from work every week.
My old job was 17 miles away. I would spend an average of $23 dollars on gasoline (at current prices) a week going to and from work.
At the new company I am already a crew leader. I don't even know if anyone else works in this division; my name is the only one listed.
At my old job I was one of the only employees besides the owners. We did most jobs together.
These are just a few of the many contrasts between old and new. It's quite a shock for me. I feel like the dumb country mouse going to the big city.
I was telling Pixie that every gripe about poor planning or good idea I ever had about how to improve my last job has floated through time and space and morphed into this well-oiled machine of lawn care and landscape management.
I just have to talk to them about their beer and babe deficiency.
The other day I spotted.....
...the very rare and deadly one-eyed lobster.
This cranky crustacean is usually found sulking in the bottom of large bodies of water, not in living rooms. However without the added drag of water to slow the angry arthropod down, it is very agile and likes to sneak up on it's victims.
One-eyed lobsters are very patient, waiting for the exact moment to pounce.
The malignant Malacostraca leaps into the air, trying to clamp on to the carotid artery and use a pair of large pointy flappers to inject a lethal dose of poison- which oddly enough consists of two parts butter and one part garlic paste.
Thankfully the deadly lobster has missed it's mark and been swatted away.
The proper way to clutch the deadly lobster is right behind the large pincher, so that it does not give you an owie.
Hey wait a minute this was a regular lobster all along! No need to worry! I'll just go put a pot on to boil.
